When you’re stuck between the now and the not yet
Waiting is hard. Does anybody like waiting? Whatever I’m waiting on — my Amazon order, the light to turn green, results from my doctor, the text back, the [insert thing here] — you name it, I want it now. I’m embarrassed to admit this but if I have to wait even one full minute for an app to load, I’m out.
I know I’m not alone in this! For something we do so often in our lives, we’re surprisingly really bad at waiting. And who can blame us? We’re so used to living in a culture of instant gratification that it often feels unnatural to navigate the waiting — this space in time between the now and the not yet.
Impatiently waiting for an Amazon box to arrive sounds so innocent, but this constant this is America I want it now! attitude extends to the rest of our lives, too. I’m in a season of waiting in my life right now, and I don’t quite know how to navigate it — largely because I expected the things I’m waiting on to have arrived already. After months of job searching, I’m still waiting to hear back from applications. I’m waiting on test results from my doctor, and waiting to see the impact from consistently working out and eating better. I’m waiting to move from who I am right now to who I want to be.
None of this is happening at the speed I want it to, and that makes me feel like something is wrong. Cue my spiral into anxious thoughts: Why am I not hearing back? What’s taking so long? Something must be wrong with me. I must be doing something wrong. The truth is, I’m just not used to waiting. Mentally it’s like I’m constantly just sitting around, twiddling my thumbs, waiting for answers, waiting for the waiting to be over and the not yet to finally be here already. Time to take my own advice and savor the moments, right? It’s way more difficult to savor the moments when you’re waiting!
We’re all waiting on something to happen, to change, to improve in our lives, but it’s how we spend that time waiting that’s so important. I recently read a part in my daily devotional that was so good I had to type it into my Notes app so I could go back and think about it:
“There is meaning and purpose in everything we are going through. In a real way, God is using all the difficulties of life in this fallen world to change and mature us, making us ready for the world that is to come.”
— Paul David Tripp, New Morning Mercies
There’s meaning and purpose to our seasons of waiting, even though we may not know what it is yet. God is using this season of waiting to change and mature us, even if we’re not seeing those results yet. It’s hard to see the journey when you’re in it, but often when you reflect back, you’ll see crystal clear how far you’ve come.
So in the waiting, I’ll be asking myself: What am I missing while I’m anxiously waiting for the waiting to go away? What’s here for me to find if I actually sit back, stop worrying, and embrace the waiting?
I’ll keep you updated.